so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
