Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
