If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
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