i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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