He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
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I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
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I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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