I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
they're like a gay fantastic four
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize