K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish life had little blips of pornography
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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