After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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