He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
