Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
