she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
