And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
