That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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