we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize