You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I look better un-naked...
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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