oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
