Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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