Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She swung at the pinata with crutches
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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