Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
