I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
