this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
