i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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