i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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