haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
