so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
