Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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