I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
