What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
this just has baby written all over it
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
