:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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