How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
