I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
