She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
