just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
