I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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