Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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