Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize