The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
