Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
