did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize