this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize