you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
home. puking in laundry basket.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It's official drugs can't kill me
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
