After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Boobs speak an international language.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
