im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
The struggles of a small town man whore
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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