Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
