Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
