We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
