I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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