Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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