i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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