Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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