dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We're too hungover to prance.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
