remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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