I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize