I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
