I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
FUCK WHALES
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
