I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
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FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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