All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
