I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
