i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
she smelled like a LAN party
Houston, we have a squirter
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
