Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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