And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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